Madness: Fight The Hands That Feed You
FIGHT THE HANDS THAT FEED YOU…
Madness, a band known for their criminal past, is hypocritical in accusing fans of theft. Their documented history includes breaking and entering, theft, and burglary, targeting laundromats, cinemas, and individuals. Despite their criminal actions, the band expresses annoyance at fan infringement, highlighting their hypocrisy. So we decided to take a serious and critical look at Madness, unwind the fairytale of their now-celebrated behaviour from song, film and book and return them to the reality of life and hold them to the same standards they hold us.
An Open Letter to Madness
The local gang included a colorful cast of characters: Lee “Kix” Thompson, Paul “Chillo” Eagan, John “Baby Face” Bailey, and Paul “Cats” Catlin.
Before rushing to accuse a dedicated and lifelong fan of criminality on social media or engaging your high powered legal team to threaten them. Are you certain you’re not calling the kettle black and overlooking your own documented criminal history? The hypocrisy here is stunning and absurd.
Let’s look at the reality: Madness (“You”) have stolen money from washing machines in launderettes in North London and actually constantly returned to the scene of the crime to steal a few more quid out of the machines so that you could get yourselves even more Mars bars and bags of crisps, eventually the laundromat became a criminal clubhouse.
Mike Barson (founding member of Madness: Piano) “We were almost in an alternative reality, or I was. That was the appeal of the shoplifting trips we used to go on. We used to go to Biba a lot, in Kensington. That was a bit of a fashion thing because they used to have this kind of spy Mackintosh coats there.”
Mike recalls their local hangout, the launderette on Highgate Road, where he could often be found sporting a new mac pilfered from Biba. The dryers at the back served as their treasure trove, regularly yielding a bounty of 50p coins.
The iconic Biba department store at 120 Kensington High Street, a vibrant hub of 1970s fashion and culture, was also the site of Mike Barson’s frequent shoplifting escapades during that era.
You consistently broke into cinemas in and around Hampstead, North London and would climb up drain pipes, purportedly like Spidermen, while your gang waited at the backdoor to unlawfully break into the cinema with you. The effort of abuse and premeditated crime only intensified as you learnt you could climb up on the roof and shimmy down the other side, breaking into a female bathroom to get inside the cinema on a regular basis.
Genuine, Honest, Respect for the law? You broke into the 70’s pop superstar and singer Lynsey de Paul’s home, who lived on Swain’s Lane in Highgate, North London and abused her personal living space, even eating food from her fridge with the intent to rob her blind.
The insanity of this is that as a 10-year-old, I was utterly captivated by Lindsey De Paul’s Ivor Novello-winning song “No Honestly.” It reached the #7 chart position on the UK charts and even became the theme song for a popular ITV comedy show of the same name. Ironically, during this period, Lee Thompson was likely attempting to break into her home in order to commit theft. Life often presents such peculiar and unexpected connections!
Lee Thompson and his mate Townsend paid a visit to Lindsey De Paul’s bohemian Highgate home, filled with furs and musical equipment to rob her blind
Lee Thompson and his gang targeted a nurse at the Whittington Hospital, stealing £200 from her. Like predators, they watched her intently as she placed her belongings into her work locker, waiting for the perfect moment to strike and leaving her devastated.
The criminal Madness continues; you stole £200 from a lady who was working at the Whittington Hospital. Watching her put her belongings into her work locker like predators. You pretended to be waiting for your Mum, when she asked if she could help, once she was out of sight, you broke into the locker and stole her cash and ran. In your own words, “it was a truckload of cash back then”.
Lee Thomson (founding member of Madness: Saxophone) “But what was she carrying that amount for? She probably wouldn’t put it in a bank, kept it on her person. Not this day, unfortunately. I was flashing the money about, being a bit frivolous, handing it out to friends. I bought one girl a smock and my sister some clothes. It mainly went on clothes, and the fish and chip shop or something. And, of course, me mum. So, I got caught.”
Self-documented criminals (in songs, films and books), and their attitude is “Well, they’re all rich fuckers anyway … nobody’s getting hurt.”
Lee Thompson’s rebellious streak spanned petty theft to graffiti, as he and Mike Barson left their defiant mark all around North London, including Highbury and Islington Station—acts of vandalism that doubled as expressions of identity and rebellion.
Thompson and Barson’s Record Heist at Rock On
Lee Thompson and Mike Barson’s mischief extended to stealing records from the iconic Rock On record shop, a haven for music enthusiasts. Their thefts weren’t just about crime—they reflected their hunger for music and the rebellious spirit that defined their early years.
Rock On Keeping an Eye on Potential Thieves
At Rock On, staff kept a watchful eye on potential thieves, aware of the shop’s allure to young music enthusiasts like Lee Thompson and Mike Barson. Known for their light-fingered habits, they tested the vigilance of the store’s defenders while fueling their passion for music.
Lee Thompson and the Stolen Saxophone
Lee Thompson’s rebellious streak peaked when he was caught with a stolen saxophone, its serial number scratched off. The attempt to disguise its origins only deepened the intrigue around the theft, a bold act that tied his mischief to his musical ambitions.
Foreman Reprimanded as a “Lazy Layabout”
Chris Foreman, once branded a “lazy little boy,” struggled to shed his reputation when starting a new job with the General Post Office (GPO), his habitual tardiness quickly became an issue. Foreman’s laid-back demeanor clashed with expectations and was fired from the job.
Birdsall and Barson on the London Underground
Si Birdsall and Mike Barson transformed the London Underground into their playground, using it as a canvas for graffiti and mischief. Their creative antics, from pranks to bold rebellions, showcased their youthful defiance.
Barson and Birdsall On Underground Cause Chaos
Their bold antics often drew the attention of the transport police, leading to chaotic chases through tunnels and platforms as they narrowly avoided capture. For them, the Underground was a stage for rebellion.
Your crime spree continued escalating out of control and transformed into the thievery of vehicles and merchandise from the local shops in and around Camden. You were particularly proud of stealing vinyl records; so much so vinyl was your Holy Grail … you were stealing records left, right and centre, you didn’t give a toss about the loss or the harm you were causing to the Artists, Record Companies and shops, neither did you care about the hard working people you stole from… you all just laughed with glee.
You actually admit you stole music from such artists as Chuck Berry, Prince Buster, Traffic, Genesis, Alex Harvey, Roxy Music, Led Zeppelin, Johnny Kidd and the Pirates … and I am sure hundreds of more artists… admitting that you stole well over 300 albums with an elaborate plan, like organized criminals, together you called it “sifting a batch”.
Can you see where I am going with this? “The band are extremely annoyed by this blatant infringement of their rights”. I am not sure how hard to laugh (or cry) at the hypocrisy of Madness, but hey “… they’re all rich fuckers anyway … nobody’s getting hurt.” … right?
Taken from Madzine (C’Est La Vie Expanded Edtion)
Madness: Fight The Hands That Feed You
Author: Madzine Magazine
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